A friend that I knew from high school married and began to have children about the same time I did. In fact I remember the two of us driving about forty-five minutes away to visit a mutual friend, toting infants that screamed for much of the car ride. She went on to have another child not long after my second was born. I didn't keep in close contact, but I occasionally saw either her and her family or her mom and extended family who I had known in our small Christian school as well.
I remember hearing of the loss of their third child in a stillbirth. I heard the news and prayed for her. I knew- as a mom myself and then later as a mom who had had a miscarriage- the grief this could bring. Although we didn't have close contact, I continued to pray for her during that time.
Out of her time of grief, my friend wrote a book, a telling of their story. The book shares their family's grief, helps women dealing with miscarriage to understand what's happening, relates the hope through grief that her family had because of their faith, and celebrates the beauty of life- even a brand new, unborn life.
I recently had the opportunity to read her book- In God's Hands: Death in the Womb. you can find information about the book or purchase this resource for yourself or for someone you know is hurting here.
In the book, Tricia relates the story of her early married life and their first two children. She recalls the events surrounding her third pregnancy and her first suspicion that something might be wrong. She explains how she and her husband found out that the baby had, indeed, died. And she tells of the physical and emotional strain she dealt with over the next days and weeks.
Over and over she affirms the reality that the new life within her- about 11 weeks- was truly a baby, a forming baby. There are pictures of the baby that the family took after the miscarriage was complete. These may be troubling to some readers. But I think that they affirm that this wasn't a fetus or tissue. It was a baby.
As Tricia recounts how her family coped with the situation, she explains to readers how their faith helped them to deal with things and how friends and family members rallied around to encourage them. This can help us as friends to encourage friends that go through this.
The book closes with encouragement to share the gospel with family and friends. and encourages us in the hope we have in the gospel.
If you're going through the loss of a baby or have a loved one who is, you can read Tricia's blog Helping Hurting Hearts to Heal. And you can find this book here.
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