Sometimes the two of us just seem to get into it and go round and round. Parenting a boy is different. For a mother who doesn't realize that sons are different it can be incredibly confusing and frustrating.
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I'm very thankful that early in my marriage, I learned the concept of respect for my husband. It is by God's grace that I read great books and had great mentors. We've had a strong relationship because of it. I'm also thankful that I realized early on that I needed to apply this concept of respect to my relationship with my son.
You see the reason that it is different to parent him is because he is a man to be. And men need respect.
Although I learned early on that this is important, and I've seen benefits when I apply it in my parenting (although I'm definitely not perfect!), I've not often seen books addressing this topic and teaching moms how important this is in parenting our sons. Until now.
I was thrilled to have the opportunity to review Mother and Son: The Respect Effect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs is the author of another parenting book- Love and Respect in the Family. He also has a blog and podcast where he talks about love and respect within the family.
Emerson does an excellent job teaching this concept of respect to moms. He begins the book with an explanation and uses acronyms to help moms to see what their boys need from them. Because I'm a visual person, I love acronyms, and they make it easy for me to remember the concepts.
He then breaks down the desires of a boy into another acronym:
Then he spends a chapter on each of these needs and teaches how moms can use Respect Talk in dealing with each of these needs of their sons. He fills the book with stories of real moms and sons and with practical examples of exactly what to say in various situations. These practical examples are so important because, as he explains throughout the book, mothers commonly speak the language of Love but not of Respect.
In on of the final chapters, Emerson specifically addresses objections he's heard from moms about respecting sons. He deals with each objection in detail, offering explanations and information that can clarify and help moms to understand.
The book is written from a Christian worldview. The author uses Biblical examples when teaching how to speak to our sons with respect.
At the end of the book are several appendices that include a Quick Start guide- an excellent way to get a short and sweet summary of the book so that you can begin working on using Respect Talk with your son right away-; a Checklist to apply the things a mother needs to give to the desires sons have for respect; a section on daughters, the response of other women to your son, and mom issues; information about submitting your own stories and signing up for Emerson's 21 Days of Inspiration in Applying the Respect Message; and a bonus chapter from Love and Respect in the Family.
The message of Mother and Son: The Respect Effect is a tremendously important one. I know from experience that applying this idea of respect can encourage a strong relationship with your son. I don't apply this perfectly, and the book helped me to learn even further with some practical examples how I can do a better job.
I can also say that internalizing the message of this book will help you to build a strong marriage as well. Our husbands desire and need our respect, and too often we don't speak to them respectfully either. Most of the time it's not because we are deliberately meaning disrespect, it's just because we don't understand Respect Talk and how to use it. Using the information in this book can change your relationship with your husband as well as with sons.
This is an excellent book. You can find more about Dr. Eggerichs, his books and his ministry to families here. And you can find Mother and Son: The Respect Effect on Amazon here. You can see the Kindle book preview below. And you can enter to win your own copy of this awesome book with the giveaway below.
Win a copy of Mother and Son: The Respect Effect from FlyBy Promotions.
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